Really having a hard time since the last two weeks. Yes, two-week old this. It all started when I learned from a very reliable source - that my boss is about to transfer to another unit. Mixed emotions surfaced. I feel happy, sad, afraid and nervous all at once. I feel happy for him because it's good for his career and besides he deserved it! :) At the same time, I'm sad because we've been working together more than two years already. It's not easy when one is already comfortable and her working environment. Am having a hard time thinking of what would might happen in a couple of days, weeks.

The long wait was over. Last Thursday, my boss finally disclosed to me regarding the configuration that will happen soon. Definitely, am not surprised at it anymore because I knew it already. In as much as I anticipated for it, I hardly thought of what he told me. He asked me if I want to go with him because he wants somebody he knows. I think fast but I could not express what my heart desires for I am ashamed. I told him I'm going. After the conversation we had, I felt uneasy. For I know, that I failed to voice out what Cristin really wants and that is to work that is in line with the course I've finished.

Night came in. I'm still thinking what's the best thing to do. I weigh things out. It's very critical to me. My career vs my job. Security vs opportunity. This is a make or break situation Whatever it is am willing to take risks rather than doing nothing.

It's in this situation that we truly appreciate the existence and presence of dear angels in our lives - our FRIEND S. I texted some of them. And just when I'm deciding to call it quits, the advices of my friends becomes noble. Here's what I've got from my dear ladies:

Charisse: Tin should tell you now until early .. you should consider carefully not just that you just simply resign.

Michelle: Well .. Make up your mind. Set aside your feelings. What you have now is a job not a career ..

I truly appreciate them for their genuine concern and advices.

I finally decided to talk to my boss the day after.

Just not feeling so normal to start my day on the Friday, I feel so nervous. It's my nature to be like this if I'm going to face my boss for a serious talk. I treated him as my dad that's why.

We talked, I told him that I'm sorry for saying yes to him initially and that I'm not going with him anymore because I want to pursue a career in HR. That it would be nice if our company's HR Department can accommodate my request or if the transfer would not resign and would just look for a company whose got HR vacancy. He asked me if that's what I really wanted. I said yes without battling an eyelash. Still I have the same boss, he give me a few advices. Even try to sway me back. But, I stood firm in my decision. It's not yet final unless we formalize everything. But I'm happy that for once I speak for what I really wanted and would not just go with the flow.

And here's a message sent via sms from a friend across the miles that really gave me courage, strength and hope.

Jaicel: Do not worry sis, just concentrate to your decision. There is no turning back. And besides sis always remember that everything happens for a reason so think positive always, ok? I'm always here for you no matter what. Your a strong girl, it's kinda risky with the decision that you made. I want to share this to you, "We fear failure so much that we often decide to do nothing instead of risk failing. But if you do not take chances in life, you will never live up to your full potential."

That's nice. I'm speechless.

To my dear friends, Cha, otherhalf and my ever dear to my Jaicel from afar. Expressing my deepest gratitude for helping me out all this time.

I'm a different person now compared to the person I was two years ago when I talked to him about my resignation. The reason before and now differs too. My reason is more valid now than it was used to. And I feel great after I let my spirit for free.